• Instead of wasting time doing laundry, invest in industrial-sized barrel of Fabreeze.
• When working a sudoku puzzle, just put random numbers in random squares.
• Go through car wash at 60 miles per hour.
• One way to get your house cleaned faster is to threaten to fire your housekeeper unless she picks up the pace.
• When dropping your kids off, teach them to roll out of the car so you don’t have to come to a complete stop. They’ll think it’s fun and you’ll pick up a few valuable seconds in your day.
• If you have a flat tire, just keep driving, moron.
• Speed-pray.
• See if you can find a combination manicurist-proctologist.
• Keep a razor in your car so you can shave your legs while stuck in traffic.
• How about this for a bedtime story: Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived happily ever after. The end.
